Leonard Mlodinow of Caltech writes
The psychologist Bruno Bettelheim concluded that survival in Nazi concentration camps depended on “one’s ability to arrange to preserve some areas of independent action, to keep control of some important aspects of one’s life despite an environment that seemed overwhelming.” Studies suggest that, even in normal conditions, to be happy, humans must feel in control …. Eliminate control, and people experience depression, stress and the onset of disease. In a study of elderly nursing home patients, one group was told they could decide how their room would be arranged, and could choose a plant to care for. Another group had their rooms set up for them and a plant chosen and tended to for them. Eighteen months later 15 percent of the patients in the group given control had died, compared with 30 percent in the passive group.
Mlodinow does not suggest that feeling the need to control is so hard wired that it cannot be resisted.
Understanding my own need for control – and exactly why I cannot have it – I now take comfort in letting go of the illusion, and accepting that despite all my efforts and planning some aspects of my future are beyond my sphere of influence.
It brings to mind the Serenity Prayer: “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; Courage to change the things I can; And wisdom to know the difference.”
Source: Leonard Mlodinow, New York Times, “The Limits of Control,” June 15, 2009.